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“…hostage lion or not this was always going to end in a bullet storm.”
Janet and Felix are back.
Helping an aging circus clown rip off a reclusive internet criminal in exchange for him smuggling them out of the country sounds like a horrible idea but they don’t have a lot of other options.
It should be simple but any plot involving, bloodthirsty mercenaries, a lion and his trainer, a clown pimp, clown escorts, bounty hunters, a demented dwarf, his alligator wresting pal, and a reclusive albino criminal, is bound to get complicated.
"Elmore Leonard with a heavy helping of Carl Hiaasen, Morr continues his saga of Janet and her growing gang of murderous misfits with this lean, mean installment. Let's hope part four is around the corner!"
Elford Alley author of Apartment 239, Ash and Bone, The Last Night in the Damned House, and In Search of the Nobility, TX Wildman
It’s So Easy: A collection of Rock-N-Noirror stories inspired by the band Guns and Roses.
Guns and Roses: One of the best damn rock and roll bands of this or any generation.
Rock -N- Noirror: Where horror and noir meet the low-down seedy side of Rock and Roll.
This is where love, ambition, fame, and revenge all go wrong, to four chords and 4/4 time. Sometimes with some supernatural help and sometimes just because that’s the way the universe works on the low-down seedy side.
It’s Rock
It’s Noir
It’s Horror
It’s Rock -N- Noirorr.
It’s seven tales of crime and horror from seven of the best indie authors in the worlds of crime and horror fiction set in the gritty, grimy world of rock music.
If you’re looking for glamor and fame don’t look here. These are pulpy tales from the trenches where bands play in dive bars not stadiums and drive vans instead of tour buses. This is the world where the has-beens, the never was, the wannabes, and the occasional up and comer find themselves on the wrong end of the law or the wrong corner of the twilight zone.
Strap in, turn it up to eleven, and enjoy the ride.
“So their findings that repeated exposure to the reanimation solution could make the subject both aggressive and nearly invulnerable does not concern you?”
“No.”
“You have no concerns about unkillable predator zombies?”
It's a double creature feature this Friday at Hell's Drive-In. Load up the car smuggle in some beer and have a Hell of a good time
.
In our first feature rival survival camps In the post-zombie apocalypse world try to come to an understanding through a series of letters.
Unfortunately, they have had some difficulty refraining from eating each other, making communication somewhat difficult.
They need to get their shit together though because as bad as flesh-eating zombies, cannibals, flying demons, acid-spewing slugs, and predatory vegetables can be more trouble is on the way.
In our second feature:
Sometimes it’s too bad you can’t kill someone twice.
Unless the dead person ends up at the New Mexico Institute of Re-Animation where Dr. Carpenter and his crew will bring back some of the most despicable examples of the recently deceased so for a reasonable fee they can be killed again.
It’s great fun for the entire revenge-seeking family.
What could go wrong?
Well, plenty.
The dead don't like to stay dead and they're hungry.
All this plus three terrifying shorts featuring mad scientists, angry ghost, satanic rituals and more.
“No.”
“You have no concerns about unkillable predator zombies?”
It's a double creature feature this Friday at Hell's Drive-In. Load up the car smuggle in some beer and have a Hell of a good time
.
In our first feature rival survival camps In the post-zombie apocalypse world try to come to an understanding through a series of letters.
Unfortunately, they have had some difficulty refraining from eating each other, making communication somewhat difficult.
They need to get their shit together though because as bad as flesh-eating zombies, cannibals, flying demons, acid-spewing slugs, and predatory vegetables can be more trouble is on the way.
In our second feature:
Sometimes it’s too bad you can’t kill someone twice.
Unless the dead person ends up at the New Mexico Institute of Re-Animation where Dr. Carpenter and his crew will bring back some of the most despicable examples of the recently deceased so for a reasonable fee they can be killed again.
It’s great fun for the entire revenge-seeking family.
What could go wrong?
Well, plenty.
The dead don't like to stay dead and they're hungry.
All this plus three terrifying shorts featuring mad scientists, angry ghost, satanic rituals and more.
The Hellogy collects the first three books in this hard-rocking, hyper-violent, hard-boiled, action-horror saga starting with The Walking Funeral. Also Including the story of the Blue Devil - Bad Ass Bitch Extraordinaire and The Walking Funeral’s journey into the next level of Hell in The Devil You Know.
Get all the Hell you can handle and more.
“Awesome read. Bad cop v bad guy continue their fight in hell. Fun vision of hell as a thorny battleground filled with weapons and smack talk. Reads fast and like you are watching an action movie --but no special effects could live up to story playing in your head.”
“TWF would make an awesome graphic novel. A one-eyed guy with a knife sticking out of his back, battling his way through a hierarchy of bad guys in Hell, tells the story of his death and its aftermath. Big fun if you're so inclined, but if you prefer cozies, shoot some meth first.”
“The story read like a non-stop action flick, a Heroes in Hell-type tale, except our heroes were not so heroic, and Hell was replete with immortal bikers, blue mohawked babes, midgets with large penises (up, that would be McQuartercock), and dead drug dealers turned hellish overlords.”
“People read Eddie Bunker to get ready to go to prison, they read Bodie Myers to get ready to go to Hell.”
“Swinging DIcks Saloon might not be the kind of place where everybody knows your name but it is the kind of place where a guy can hang out tell bad jokes with his pals or maybe even meet a hooker who at least has the decency to pretend she has a heart of gold.
Do you want weird shit? They’ve got it, Hell the staff can do some weird shit you wouldn’t believe. Swinging Dicks can be a lot of things but it’s never boring.”
Slim (name redacted) former bartender, Swinging Dicks SaloonDo you want weird shit? They’ve got it, Hell the staff can do some weird shit you wouldn’t believe. Swinging Dicks can be a lot of things but it’s never boring.”
Welcome to Swinging Dick's Saloon.
It's the kind of place that doesn't have to say it's a dive bar because everyone knows just by looking at the place.
It's the kind of place where the owner (Dick though he might tell people to call him, Richard) is often the drunkest guy in the place, though sometimes he drinks in the bar down the street because the barmaids are hotter.
It's the kind of place where the barmaids wear skimpy outfits even when they shouldn't and the bartender never remembers what your drink of choice is but he believes he does.
It's the kind of place where you might be drinking with mysterious and possibly magical bartenders, small-time and big-time criminals, one-armed men who may or may not have psychic powers, competing serial killers, and maybe even an actual demon or two.
Swinging Dicks is the kind of place where one never knows what they're walking into but the beer is cold and it's never boring.
Janet and Felix are back in the explosive follow up to the underground noir classic Jesus Saves, Satan Invests
Janet and Felix may have escaped California with their lives but a man named Wiggins still wants Felix dead and he's willing to go extremes to get it done.
If that means hiring a trio of psychopaths and broken down drug runner to kidnap Felix's sister then that's what Wiggins is going to do.
To complicate matters Janet has managed to inadvertently made an enemy of a murderous meth dealer and his dog.
Felix, however, is more resourceful than he was when he started running and Janet is still as deadly as ever. The odds are against them but backing down isn't an option.
What happens when you die in Hell?
You sure don't go to heaven.
The man now known as the Walking Funeral finds himself in another perhaps even deadlier corner of Hell after taking a bullet to the head. This Hell is filled with cannibals, zombie-like creatures known as Brain Dead Motherfuckers and the usual bloodthirsty killers condemned to the underworld as well as friends and enemies from The Walking Funerals life and afterlife. It also contains an eight-year-old girl who claims to know the way back to the Hell he just left and maybe a way out of the underworld itself.
Sometimes it’s too bad you can’t kill someone twice.
It’s great fun for the entire revenge-seeking family.
What could go wrong?
Well, plenty.
The dead don't like to stay dead and they're hungry.
Hell Book 2
“People read Eddie Bunker to get ready to go to prison, they read Bodie Myers to get ready to go to Hell.”
It’s time to go back to hell and get another dose of hard-rocking, hyper-violent, hard-boiled, action horror.
The Walking Funeral -Hell Book 1
“See you in Hell.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Turns out they were both right.
Enemies in life continue to be enemies in the afterlife in Hell, a hard-boiled supernatural action horror tale.
Hell is pulpy action-noir at its best
“See you in Hell.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Turns out they were both right.
Enemies in life continue to be enemies in the afterlife in Hell, a hard-boiled supernatural action horror tale.
Hell is pulpy action-noir at its best
Best Laid Plans of Idiots and Fuck Ups - Cooke 2
DNA evidence may have saved him from a life in prison for a crime he did not commit, but trouble still finds him and Cooke cant' help but embrace it.
Cooke retrieves a stash of money for lawyer Valerie Murphy. The money belongs to her client, but plenty of people have designs on getting it for themselves. The client's sister thinks she can use the money to pay someone to break her brother out of county jail while plenty of others, including the client's crew of thieves, some Christian Bikers, and a dirty cop want to get the stash for themselves.
DNA evidence may have saved him from a life in prison for a crime he did not commit, but trouble still finds him and Cooke cant' help but embrace it.
Cooke retrieves a stash of money for lawyer Valerie Murphy. The money belongs to her client, but plenty of people have designs on getting it for themselves. The client's sister thinks she can use the money to pay someone to break her brother out of county jail while plenty of others, including the client's crew of thieves, some Christian Bikers, and a dirty cop want to get the stash for themselves.
Captain Cooker - Cooke 1
“You ever choke a man out with his own shirt?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“A yes or no one.”
Cooke is a free man. He has a new name and a new life in a new place.
Even though DNA evidence exonerated him from a horrific crime plenty of people still believe he is guilty, and to survive behind bars he had to become what they said he was. Taking a job working for the lawyer who helped set him free puts him in the middle of a bunch of trouble. To save the life of a pretty young lawyer and her son he is asked to become what he was falsely convicted of years ago, a brutal remorseless killer.
“You ever choke a man out with his own shirt?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“A yes or no one.”
Cooke is a free man. He has a new name and a new life in a new place.
Even though DNA evidence exonerated him from a horrific crime plenty of people still believe he is guilty, and to survive behind bars he had to become what they said he was. Taking a job working for the lawyer who helped set him free puts him in the middle of a bunch of trouble. To save the life of a pretty young lawyer and her son he is asked to become what he was falsely convicted of years ago, a brutal remorseless killer.
Double Tap
Nor-Cal has the granola
So-Cal has the glitz
Here in Central California, we've got the grit.
This is the Bakersfield sound of low literature.
Nor-Cal has the granola
So-Cal has the glitz
Here in Central California, we've got the grit.
This is the Bakersfield sound of low literature.
Camp Hendrix
In the post-zombie apocalypse world, rival survival camps try to come to an understanding through a series of letters. Unfortunately, they have had some difficulty refraining from eating each other, and more trouble is on the way.
In the post-zombie apocalypse world, rival survival camps try to come to an understanding through a series of letters. Unfortunately, they have had some difficulty refraining from eating each other, and more trouble is on the way.
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